Captain's Blogs--What's Up With That?

staying too long

My fifth year at college was set up to be a dream year. It turned out that i should have quit while i was ahead. A lot of funny moments in hindsight, but pretty terrible in the present tense memories.

The best part of the year was my girlfriend Becky. Getting involved with her was a trigger point for a lot of the mini-disasters that came up that year. It was worth it. In a hurry to distance myself from the bad luck at Purdue (and into the waiting disasters in chicago) i left school early and broke her heart in my rush to begin new bad relationships. By the time that i realized my mistake, she took the opportunity to crush my heart a couple of times.

Her dog was named Kayleigh, so she liked this Marillion song. We had that in common. I think that we both liked pizza too.

anti-love songs

for some reason they didn't stick with me as much as some other bands, but Def Leppard make up a huge part of my high school and university rockscape.

here is bringing on the heartbreakperformed in 1988, released in 1981.

from 5 years earlier, rock brigade. This is the song that got me hooked early in high school.

last, aerosmith performing one way streetwith an enormous amount of energy almost 30 years after They wrote it.

flying

The Faces performing Flying in 1970. Rod Stewart and Ron Wood made it onto my classroom wall of fame in almost the outfits that they have on in this video.

my big brothers

I was the oldest child by four years, and only boy in our family. My friends didn't seem to be the best source of information on the secrets of the world. The rock stars of the 70s were my heroes. I don't know that it was the best place to get advice, but it worked, i guess.

UFO live.

wiser time

i lose hope in humanity and gain hope in humanity in about equal doses throughout most years. Overall, this is probably something to be thankful for. But, i have to say, that it seems that it would be not so hard to do a little better.

Believing that, on a fundamental level, nothing much will really change, I avoid extremist cults on both ends of the change spectrum. The end-of-times prophets and the nirvanna sellers. But, I swerve a little bit between optimism, cynicism, and pessimism--usually at the wrong time for each, i might add. It's also both liberating and depressing to keep facing the reality that the world isn't bending to my will as it should be by now.

more black crowes. I just played from 3:00 to the end about 10 times, and i'm forcing my self to type before going back for more.

sympathy for the devil

from 1968 at the Rock and Roll Circus. I first saw this video in Amsterdam. It made me realize, for the first time, how much the Stones actually rocked.

sometimes salvation

three of my favorite black crowe songs. Sometimes Salvation, Bad Luck Blue Eyes Goodbye, and Sister Luck. I first heard Shake Your Money Maker on the same night that I first heard Lenny Kravitz' Let Love Rule. It was some trippy return back after I graduated, I think.

my baby

my personal life is in full-blown nightmare mode right now. Alexa is the bright spot of everyday though. Next Saturday, Halloween, is her first birthday.It used to amaze me that people could talk to each other with interest about how fast kids grow up. Now I find myself wanting to tell everyone that i can't believe a whole year has gone by already.

She is fantastic in every way, and we are lucky. She is bright, curious, mischievious, and happy. What more can you ask for?

Fortunately she is young enough that she doesn't really know anything is wrong. Someday soon, she will definitely know; this makes me feel incredibly guilty. But i'm also determined to find a way to make it ok for her.

So, I want to document Alexa growing up and the things that we do together, sometimes in the form of letters to her. The first letter I wrote on October 9th. I'm feeling a little shy about it now, but at the time that i wrote it, i was pretty convinced that this was the best way to make sure that she got the letters. Here goes.

Dear Alexa,

Today you walked across the sala on your own for the first time.  You've been waiting for that moment for a long time now. You can finally run after us and away from us. You can chase, and sometimes catch, Christopher. We would all do well in life if we pursued what we really wanted with as much determination as a baby pursuing her first steps.

I have to tell you that I think about you all day. Today I realized that you are never really out of my thoughts. I am so glad for having you in the world.

Someday we will be the wondering wanderer and the wandering wonderer. Who will be which?

I don't think that you really notice too much right now, but things aren't going well in your family. I want you to know that i'm sorry. I'm trying baby; i'm trying. I want your life to be magical to you. You've already made life seem magical to me.

I love you.

fake plastic trees

a beautiful song that doesn't seem to age at all.

the new music section

I think that i'll combine the music section with my blog. Maybe i'll get a little bit more done with both of them this way.

The last few months have been fairly crazy. I have lots of music floating around in my head. I've been spending a lot of time on YouTube, checking out songs and artists there.

Today, Elton John popped up on random play--Someone Saved My Life Tonight. It seemed perfect. I think that this Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy was recorded at Caribou Ranch.

Here is a 1976 Live Version: